No, look for a repeated pattern. One sharp message on a bad day is human, and everyone has bad days. A repeated pattern across weeks is information. The scanner helps you tell the difference by showing whether a flag appears once or keeps showing up in different conversations. If you see the same move three times, for example guilt after every boundary, believe the pattern, not the apology that follows it. And remember, you do not need a perfect case to slow down. Slowing down is always allowed.

Yes, paste any chat you still have. Old chats are actually some of the most useful to scan, because you can see the whole arc: how it started, when the tone shifted, and whether the sweet phases always followed the bad ones. If you are out of the relationship and still confused about what happened, scanning an old chat can bring real closure. Distance makes patterns easier to see, and the scanner gives that distance a structure.

No, it checks patterns in the words. It will never tell you someone is a narcissist, and it never labels a person with anything. Only a qualified professional can assess a person. What the scanner does is simpler and more useful for you: it shows what the words are doing, with quotes, so you can decide what you want to do about it. A pattern check is about the messages in front of you, not a verdict on a human being.

Common dating red flags include love bombing, guilt trips, hot and cold behaviour, pressure for quick commitment, disrespecting small boundaries, and inconsistent communication where actions do not match words. Other red flag phrases to watch for include “you are too sensitive”, “nobody else has a problem with me”, and “if you loved me you would”. One flag is a data point worth noting. Several flags forming a repeated pattern is a warning worth acting on, even if the person is charming between the flags.

Excitement is normal in early dating. Love bombing is different in speed, size and purpose. Signs of love bombing include declaring strong feelings within days, wanting all of your time immediately, big future plans with someone they barely know, excessive flattery that feels generic rather than specific to you, and a sudden chill when you slow down or set a boundary. Excitement respects your pace. Love bombing punishes it. The scanner looks for exactly this rhythm in your chat, so paste a couple of weeks and see how the intensity maps against your boundaries.

A red flag is a pattern that predicts hurt: control, guilt, inconsistency, pressure. A green flag is a pattern that predicts safety: steady communication, respect for boundaries, repair after conflict, patience with your pace. Healthy dating has far more green than red, and the occasional awkward message does not cancel that. Ask yourself who is doing the adjusting. If you are constantly managing their moods while they make the decisions, that imbalance is worth noticing, even if no single message looks terrible on its own.

No. The red flag scanner runs in your browser. Nothing is uploaded and nothing is stored on our servers. No account is needed for a first check. That said, paste only text you are allowed to share, and if you share your device, use a private browsing window so the pasted text does not sit in the form history. Your privacy matters most when the messages are personal, so keep the check on a device only you control.

In this version, paste the text rather than relying on a screenshot, because screenshot text is not checked automatically. Copy the messages into the box for the most accurate check, or open a text file if you exported the chat. Screenshots are useful as your own backup, and the Evidence Vault can help you keep them organised with dates, but for the scan itself, pasted text gives the clearest read.

Start with what the scan suggests. If flags are few and mild, keep watching and see how the next two weeks go. If a clear pattern shows up, slow the pace, talk to someone you trust, and set one small boundary to see how they respond. How someone reacts to a small no tells you everything about the big ones. If you feel unsafe at any point, call your local emergency number. And if you need help finding calm words for a reply, the BIFF Reply Maker is the natural next step.